Do you wonder what's off in your marriage like I did? It took me years and several counselors before I received help figuring it out. Read the free prologue here to recognize one of the tactics that can undermine a marriage.
God, the Devil, and Divorce
The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.
–Shannon L. Alder
Approaching the church located in a small business park, I wonder how this latest counseling could possibly be of help. When my husband suggested I see Pastor Susan, I suspected he hoped she’d straighten me out. In the last fifteen or so years of our twenty-four-year marriage I’ve been to Gestalt therapy, couples counseling, family counseling, individual counseling, a women’s support group, yoga therapy, tried valium and other antidepressants, and even talked with my gynecologist. What more is there to learn? And from a conservative pastor? Still, a woman pastor in a conservative church is a bit unusual …
Susan ushers me into her office and beckons me to a comfortable chair. I settle in, studying her attractive yet simple style, weighing the timbre of her voice, and noticing the smile wrinkles around her eyes. Feeling an immediate connection, I sigh in relief and pour out the frustrations that have been building in me over the last several years.
“I don’t know how to be with Jim anymore,” I begin. “I don’t know if he dislikes me or is just too distracted to think of me. Whatever it is, I feel disregarded and disrespected, and I’m hurt and angry.”
Susan listens to my story, nodding her head encouragingly. When I finish, she hands me a tissue. I hear compassion in her voice as she asks a few questions, jotting down my answers in her notebook.
"Has Jim ever hit you?"she asks.
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issues. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
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