I liken my divorce experience to that of an imaginary woman I’ll call Anna. Anna had lived for a long time with a diseased leg that caused a persistent dull ache. At times, significant sharp pains brought her to tears. Nevertheless, she could get around on that leg, even though it pained her and even though it sometimes felt as if it would collapse.
Finally, though, the pain became so great and the leg so weak, it threatened Anna’s overall health and had to be removed. The surgery was extremely painful.
What a shock to Anna's system!
Afterwards, Anna had to learn to use a crutch. The crutch was restrictive and made her clumsy. Sometimes she wished she still had her old leg, as unhealthy as it was. Nevertheless, she clung to the belief that she would eventually be okay, and she kept trying to walk. As she did, she felt her body changing. One day, to her shock, she discovered a new leg had miraculously begun to grow from the scars of the missing leg.
As Anna kept moving forward, the leg continued to grow until it was a completely new leg, even better than her original one--stronger yet more flexible. She no longer needed the crutch. For the first time in a very long time, Anna could run and hop and twirl and dance. She discovered new moves she’d neve dreamed she could make. She felt more joyful, more confident. Anna wasn’t simply as good as new; she was different, better—more lovely and more loving than she’d been, even before her limb had become diseased. Anna lived the rest of her life in deep gratitude for this rebirth.
Yes, I was like Anna.
My long-term marriage wasn’t good, but I’d learned to live with the dull ache of feeling things weren’t right. I did my best to repair what was broken, but I was not powerful enough to heal our relationship. There came a point when I had to wrench myself free. The result was terribly painful, as if I’d cut off a limb. Still, I clung to the believe that God cared for me and that I would eventually be healed.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Just like Anna, not only did I survive, I learned to thrive. I found resilience, confidence, and joy. I learned to dance! Divorce survivors discover that no matter how tough it was to leave, their lives can be better than ever.
My friends, you may be hurting now from your divorce experience, but have faith. Keep on walking and trust God you will come out on the other side, stronger and more joyful.
For autographed copy of my memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, click here to go to the order page on my website. I use inexpensive media mail, and there’s no charge for packaging. Just $16.99 plus tax and $2.80 for shipping. The book can also be ordered through several online bookstore.
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through a divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issues. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace. Contact her: Linda@LindaMKurth.com
I welcome your comments and feedback.
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