I feel a major shift coming in the treatment of women within the Christian church. I shout, "Hallelujah!" This feels like the Christian women's version of the "Me Too" movement. Women are speaking up about the Spiritual Abuse they've received in the Church, saying "Enough!" and claiming their rightful place within a church of love and grace.
Last week, the Washington Post published an article: Southern Baptist leader pushes back after comments leak urging abused women to pray and avoid divorce, based on an audio tape in which Paige Patterson, currently the president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and a prominent leader in the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), urged counseling women to remain in abusive marriages.
Patterson continues to believe that women should endure abuse because, if they stay and suffer, they may be able to help their husbands become better people.
Thousands of Southern Baptist women responded by signing an open letter, expressing their concerns with Patterson's views toward women and marriage.
Christian author Beth Moore realized it was time for her to speak up, too. She wrote a letter to her Christian brothers describing what it has been like for her to be a woman minister and speaker in the male-dominated evangelical world. She wrote, "I’m asking for your increased awareness of some of the skewed attitudes many of your sisters encounter. Many churches quick to teach submission are often slow to point out that women were also among the followers of Christ (Luke 8), that the first recorded word out of His resurrected mouth was 'woman' (John 20:15), and that same woman was the first evangelist."
She continued. "I’m asking that you would simply have no tolerance for misogyny and dismissiveness toward women in your spheres of influence. I’m asking for your deliberate and clearly conveyed influence toward the imitation of Christ in His attitude and actions toward women."
In a September blog post of last year, Divorce Support or Condemnation?, I wrote, "I had not intended to make my mission of exposing Pharisaical behavior in the church toward divorced Christians a gender issue. But, after a conversation with a divorced Christian friend yesterday, my eyes have been opened; I believe it often is."
I mentioned an earlier guest blog post, Liberation from the Patriarchal Church, as evidence. In the writer's situation, she chose to divorce because of physical and emotional abuse. Yet, she was blamed by the church leaders and others for her husband's behavior. Somehow she hadn't been a "good Christian wife" in their eyes.
Anyone with "eyes to see and ears to hear" and a knowledge of the love of Christ ought to know this kind of misogynous behavior has no place in our Lord's church. My next blog post will explore the origin of this harmful and systemic practice.
Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed by a church because of your divorce? There are hurting people who need to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines: Linda@LindaMKurth.com
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issues. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
Free Resource Downloads
12 Steps to a More Joyful Life after Divorce
30 Things to Do When You're Single
Resources for Healing from Spiritual Abuse
50 Divorce Recovery Books and Blogs
As long as you are hiding from your pain, you're hiding from helping other people.
Kari Oberbrunner - Author, speaker, coach.
If you're interested in sharing your story of divorce and the response of other Christians, email Linda at Linda@LindaMKurth.com for guidelines.
Release date: March 2021