The letter came as a surprise. It was addressed to me, even though the return address showed it was from a Promise Keeper friend of my newly divorced husband. My stomach churned as I began reading his letter.
"You desired illegitimate authority in you home and now you are worse off than before [the divorce.] You no longer have the spiritual covering of your husband and are open to Satan's attacks," he declared.
He went on to say, "I recommend you find a church where there is strong male headship and no compromising of clear scripture." And ""I see you as an incredibly controlling person...God can soften your stiff neck and heart of stone, but it will be His way or no way." On it went for three pages.
My heart pounding, I jumped into my van and headed for the freeway where I could scream my head off without anyone hearing me. I knew I couldn't let this man's accusations go, but how on earth was I to answer him?
You'll have to wait until my memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, gets published to discover what I did next.
Are you a Christian who has experienced spiritual abuse in response to your decision to divorce? What did you do about it? I hope you'll share with readers here as we advocate for healing and grace for divorced persons within the church.
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issue. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed by a church because of your divorce? There are hurting people who need to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines: Linda@LindaMKurth.com
Free Resource Downloads
12 Steps to a More Joyful Life after Divorce
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Resources for Healing from Spiritual Abuse
50 Divorce Recovery Books and Blogs