Joy in Tough Times

If you’ve recently been divorced, you may be in a world of hurt.
​Finding joy may seem impossible. In addition, you’ve most likely been affected in some way by the current pandemic. How can you possibly find joy in all of this?

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Webster’s dictionary defines Joy as "a condition or feeling of
​high pleasure or delight; happiness or gladness."​

​Webster’s dictionary defines Joy as "a condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight; happiness or gladness." Yet, a different kind of joy can be found--not the giddy experience of being on top of the world, but a deep knowing that we are going to be all right.

The Bible has a lot to say about this type of joy. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1: 2-4 NIV). This joy is about anticipation, believing that something good will come out of our difficulties. It’s not that we seek out these tough times--there’s no need to do that--most of us experience troubles in this life at one time or another. But when we find ourselves in the midst of those times, we can lean into them and find joy, believing we will become stronger for the experience.

One way to find joy is to bless others even when we are in the midst of our own pain.

One way to find joy is to bless others even when we are in the midst of our own pain. Here’s an example: Shortly after my divorce, I became part of a large singles group. I vividly remember a single mom with two children telling us what happened to her and her family that first Christmas after her husband had left. She was barely scraping by, but the three of them decided to bless another family who was also struggling. They gathered up what they could, put their finds in a gift basket, and secretly left the basket at the family’s door. On the way home, they laughed and sang, joyful in the gift giving. To their surprise, they found a gift basket waiting at their own front door. Their joy had been multiplied.

Personally, I discovered joy as my family and friends
​rallied around me.

We may be so damaged in challenging times, we can barely function. It’s okay to just be, letting friends and family love on us. Frightened at facing an unknown future during my own divorce, I put all my trust in the Lord. I tell of that experience in my up-coming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce: “The photo on my new driver’s license is one of my best ever. I have a theory of why that is. I believe in times of great loss, we are at our most vulnerable. I’ve heard it called, ‘sacred time.’ Although I hurt to my core, I felt as if I had an aura protecting me. It shows in my countenance, and many people responded to me in a kinder, gentler manner than before.” I discovered joy as my family and friends rallied around me.

Although I have no desire to return to that place again, that memory remains deep in my soul. I grew emotionally and spiritually stronger through that trial. I was able to embrace the gifts that the difficult time taught me. As James wrote, I now feel more “mature and complete, not lacking in anything.”

I encourage you to be open to the joy waiting for you during trials and recovery. As the Beatles sang, “in times of trouble--let it be.” God’s got you.

Blessings,

Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed by a church because of your divorce? There are hurting people who need to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines: Linda@LindaMKurth.com

Author

Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issues. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.