Even though I write a lot about divorce, I’m definitely pro-marriage ... especially my own! This past weekend, my hubby and I attended a seminar titled "How We Love" presented by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Kay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Milan is a former pastor and has a counseling practice. Together, they’ve written the book, How We Love, that describes how they help individuals and couples discover their love styles.
Tune-ups can often take a marriage to an even higher level.
As our understanding of human behavior grows, so does opportunity for better communication and interaction. And, even though you and your spouse or other significant person in your life may be on really good terms, tune-ups can often take thatmarriage to an even higher level.
In going through counseling after leaving my long-term marriage, I was asked to identify my part of our dysfunction. I knew on an intellectual level that surely I had a role, but, since my husband’s behavior was so glaring, I had difficulty identifying where I’d gotten off track, too.
That’s the way life is, isn’t it? Our egos help shield us from our own faults.
That’s the way life is, isn’t it? Our egos help shield us from our own faults. At the conference, we learned how our love styles are formed at a very early age, and continue to influence us as adults. Understanding our childhood patterns makes owning our adult behavior much easier. Understanding the source of our mate’s behavior also elicits empathy rather than blame. It gives a means of recognizing and dialoging about the marriage dynamic.
Don’t get me wrong; not every marriage can and should be saved. But, if yours is basically a good one, I encourage you to cherish it and take time to nourish it. Seeking out opportunities such as How We Love, is a great way to do so.
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issues. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed by a church because of your divorce? Or encouraged? There are hurting people who would like to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines: Linda@LindaMKurth.com