The period following a divorce is often called “Crazy Time.” We are prone to lose our footing and can be tempted to do unwise things we wouldn’t do in saner periods. When my first husband left me after five and a half years of marriage, I was set adrift. In my pain, I made decisions I would grow to regret.
The end of my second marriage after twenty-five years was even more devastating. But the upside of having been through the previous divorce, gave me valuable insight into following a better path to recovery. Here are twelve things I'm glad I did over a three year period after my divorce.
Here are twelve things I’m glad I did the second time around.
1. I had compassion for myself.
2. I chose to pamper myself.
3. I allowed my friends and relations to help me.
4. I found a counselor who understood me.
5. I stretched myself, trying things I hadn’t previously thought I was capable of doing.
6. I worked out with a personal trainer who kept me accountable.
7. I took dance lessons.
8. I tried to stick to a routine.
9. I dropped the few friends who were inclined to be negative and sought out new single friends.
10. I joined a divorce recovery group.
11. I found a church that accepted me as a hurting divorced person.
12. I decided not to date for a year after the divorce.
I can’t say I’m glad I went through my first divorce, but I believe God was able to help me apply that experience for a better result during my recovery the second time around. I understand no two peoples' recovery looks exactly alike, and that there are many factors involved. But I'm hoping that by sharing what I learned, those of you dealing with divorce may derive some benefit by learning what worked for me.
Have you gone through a divorce? What tips can you offer readers who are facing the challenge of divorce recovery? I hope you'll share in the comment section below and perhaps help someone else.
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced a dichotomy of responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issue. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed by a church because of your divorce? There are hurting people who need to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines: Linda@LindaMKurth.com